I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it's like iHOP with fire
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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