im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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