I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
