just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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