My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
