i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
