Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
