I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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