Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
