I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
