now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
