Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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