You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
