Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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