I wish i was in the wii world.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
