her vagine was all disorganized.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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