see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
