the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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