Your tits are I can't wait for
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
