Yo dont text me then not text me
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i believe in u and ur pee
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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