This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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