do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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