A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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