So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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