u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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