Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
