I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
