Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
