I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
