the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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