so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
