Whod you bang
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
