I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
