So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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