my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
