What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
