I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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