Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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