Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
