Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
