the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
