Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
