i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Semen is not good for contacts.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
