Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
