This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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