Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
