she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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