My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
