There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
