boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
